It’s usually in the middle of the night, when your eyes are long accustomed to the darkness, and the darkness creeps in silently into your system. It’s usually at such a quiet time, when the clock seems to stop, and scary thoughts plague your mind. It’s usually in this state of mind of insanity, when your heart goes dead, and you feel empty inside. Sometimes, you just wish that you could die.
She’s a coward, keeping her emotions inside, afraid to show others what is on her mind. But an empty shell can only hold so much, and when the pain overtakes her, she crashes like the waves, beating rashly on the shore. And when the fire has died out from her eyes, she falls limp, a rag doll consigned to her fate. Many times a day, thoughts creep into her mind. Of cutting. Of dying. As she looks at her bare hands, she is tempted to try. Because she’s desperate to find a way to make the pain go away. But she’s a coward. She’s not afraid of dying. She’s afraid of descending into flames that would never stop holding her. She’s afraid she wouldn’t make it to a safe sanctuary. That’s why she’s afraid to let everything go. Even as insanity eats her soul up inside, she feels as if she’s fading away, little by little. Slowly, she’ll corrode alongside the hands of time.
