It’s been so long since I’ve found the luxury of sitting down quietly and just making use of this personal space. It’s strange how the simplest things can make you feel content, feel happy. Like in this case, a nice cup of hot tea in winter, warm and toasty in your own room. Everything is accelerating, and it really doesn’t feel like two weeks have already gone by. While being forced to learn new skills by living in a completely different environment, however, there’s a dull ache when I now look back at these past two weeks because I never found the time to stop and settle down a little to do one of my favourite things in the world. I’ve missed this familiar page, how letters form into words and words into (hopefully coherent and grammatically correct) sentences. Perhaps it’s been too long.. It’s always hard to choose where to start.
I first saw the city while I was still on the road not far off. It had just rained and I saw a rainbow over the city. Perhaps it was only then when I started having expectations of my new home and school. But really, I do need to ask myself. How often do I experience a good beginning? It’s winter. I got lost. I got discriminated against by another minority group. (I was only asking for directions.) And because I got lost, I had to wait a day for registration. :/ I don’t know if it was the really awful experience that day or if it simply was a case of sudden realization that I wouldn’t be home until more than half a year later. I missed home. Still do, actually. But people are nice here. Well, most of them anyway. School hasn’t been amazing, but in the short span of one week, it taught me something else. Humility.
It’s kinda like a back-to-basics situation. I’m back to learning skills that I learnt more than ten years ago. While I probably wouldn’t mind this for most academic subjects.. Let’s just say I miss secondary school days where I got to write essays, be it narrative or descriptive. On the bright side, I’m learning new subjects that I’ve never studied before. While I do wish that school could be a little more interactive sometimes, I guess it just gives me more space to develop myself instead. Honestly, I often wonder what would have happened if I chose to take my A levels instead. But then again, there’s no use crying over spilt milk. Besides, falling down multiple times in life has been a trying period, which taught me to grow up a little. If there’s nothing I can change now, I’ll just have to make the best of it.
Okay, I really hate how I’ve written this post. I guess everyone’s changing, including me. Perhaps I’ve changed the most or I’ve changed the least. But being here, it feels like it’s the little things that count. I really miss my friends and family back home and whichever part of the world they’re in right now. If you’re reading this darlings, I just want to let you know how much I love you. I may not be the girl who’s almost always free to go out anymore, but those places in my heart that you’ve been in are yours always. I know friendships are hard to maintain when we barely get to meet and talk in person, but I do hope that our friendships will stay strong. I miss you darlings. Hope you guys haven’t forgotten me yet. Love you. <3
